Did you ever have something to say

And just never could find the proper words? I have the solution for you.

At The Bureau of Communication there is no wrong that you might have committed, that cannot be uncommitted.

Try out communications like:

• UNSCHEDULED IMPAIRMENT  To break the news of a non-trivial loss.
• RECORD OF REMORSE An earnest attempt to right a wrong.
• DECLARATION OF ROMANTIC INTENT To reveal the extent of one's attraction.
• UNSOLICITED FEEDBACK To express an opinion or insight.
• OBSERVANCE OF HOLIDAY To celebrate an annual event.
• AIRING OF GRIEVANCE To communicate a problem or issue.
• FORMAL APOLOGY To express remorse (heartfelt or forced).
• STATEMENT OF GRATITUDE To show appreciation or thanks.
• OFFICIAL INVITATION To request participation in a happening.
• ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF OCCASION To observe a birthday, bris, or victory.
• REQUEST FOR COMPENSATION To bring attention to a debt of inequality.

So when you really pissed someone off, just send them a communication.